As of March 2024 I have photographed about 130 fine art nude models. I have also discussed models, photographers and the fine art nude model industry with models and photographers. There are conflicting opinions and attitudes, plus, good and bad among models and photographers, regarding skills, values, behaviors and attitudes.

I have encountered extremes among models, e.g., the ex-stripper, “trailer trash”, “wrong side of the street”, vulgar, addicted to something, street smarts, hustler type, who is in this industry merely to make a quick easy buck by posing nude, to the highly polished, refined, cultured, extremely accomplished, dedicated, and sometimes extremely well educated, serious, professional model whose posing skills are awesome, who poses to earn a living and to create art worthy of serious critical acclaim.

As a generalization I believe male photographers, as a whole, might be a bit more “decent” and more “honorable”, than female models, as a whole; however, some male photographers manifest indefensible, notorious, uncouth, despicable, criminal-like, abusive behavior toward models.

I also believe male photographers fall into the following groups regarding their attitudes and behaviors towards female models:

The Majority. A large majority of male photographers go out of their way to cater to female models and tolerate models’ unreasonable diva-like crap. This group will never publicly rebuke any model, not even with highly meritorious criticism, for fear of being shunned by other models or for fear the model will sue them for defamation. This group believes it is imperative that a photographer always “kisses up” to a model and always “makes nice” to the model, to remain on good terms with the model, so they can continue to photograph the model, keep models happy, and avoid motivating a model to badmouth them, unfairly, merely because they stood up to the model and said “No” to an unreasonable demand or to the model’s bad behavior.

A Minority. A small percentage of male photographers fancy themselves as “enlightened”, “wise”, “compassionate”, “humanitarian” champions of female human beings. This minority has taken it upon themselves to publicly advocate this: Males have oppressed females; females are truth-tellers; females are credible; females should always be believed when they accuse a male of anything negative.

An Extreme Minority. This group firmly believes the other two groups [majority and minority], by catering to models, by tolerating their crap, and—worse—by championing the idea that women are always credible truth-tellers, etc., function foolishly and are instrumental in helping exacerbate the fine art nude model-photography industry’s problems because their approach to models gives models who manifest unprofessional conduct a free pass, a form of immunity from being held accountable for their bad behavior and, in that sense, the vast majority of male photographers—unwittingly— have been instrumental in creating—and in perpetuating—this industry’s problems, because their tolerance of bad models is a form of subsidy that encourages and protects bad model behavior.

I reject—absolutely—as the height of dangerous foolishness—the idea that females are always credible truth-tellers and all females should always be believed when any of them accuse a male photographer of something unprofessional or worse.

That attitude, to me, is a prescription for disaster; is ultra simplistic; is dangerous in the extreme; is sexist; is not supported by objectively verifiable credible evidence; is inconsistent with reality [namely, there is ample evidence that females lie, steal, cheat, defame, commit fraud, make false accusations, and lie to cover up their lie]; it illegally categorizes people based on their gender [which is a “suspect” category]; it unlawfully discriminates against males; it imposes an unjustifiable, indefensible burden against males; it unjustifiably grants females a privileged position of “presumed integrity and honesty”, which is unwarranted and violates common sense.

Females do not have a monopoly on honesty, integrity, and/or the truth. Females are subject to human shortcoming equal to males.

I believe this: Any male photographer who champions the idea that female models are always entitled to being believed, whenever they accuse a male photographer of bad behavior, are reckless fools who encourage the creation of, and the protection of, ruthless, cunning, lying, despicable, female models, “monster models”.

I also believe this: A majority of male photographers have contributed to creating an atmosphere that tolerates and protects female models who function as insufferable monsters, and, as such, they [namely, photographers who give bad models a free pass] are a plague on this industry.

It is imperative that 1) photographers and models treat each other professionally, keep their commitments, do what they say they will do, be honest and decent with each other, clearly communicate their boundaries, strive mightily to achieve a well informed mutual consent, do not tolerate anyone’s bad behavior, be quick to enforce boundaries, be assertive, and never be afraid to stand up for your own legitimate vested interests, damn the consequences; 2) a model or a photographer who manifests bad behavior should be called out, confronted, counseled, and, if the person fails to reform, sternly publicly rebuked and criticized based on facts, to deny them the aura that they are a good person and to warn others in the industry about them; and 3) Failing to sternly publicly rebuke a bad model [or photographer] amounts to granting them a free pass, and immunity from criticism, which allows them to continue to be abusive with others, which undermines what should be high standards of professionalism in this industry.

I never have to photograph any model. I never have to sacrifice my self respect or my independence merely to cater to a model so I can remain on good terms with the model.

I do not believe in appeasement, namely, granting a bad model any concession to keep them happy and to stay on their good side. Appeasing bad models is extraordinarily myopic, foolish, counter-productive, potentially dangerous, and bat shit silly stupid.

A male photographer friend who read a draft of this document told me: “This public attack against models who wronged you may severely limit your ability to hire the ‘good models’ who may fear your online ire. The bad models won’t care and change their names and will not change their behavior.”

I disagree with my male photographer friend.

I believe this: 1) It is imperative that every model and photographer in the fine art nude model-photography industry who values “professionalism” should be serious about maintaining high standards and one way to do that is to publicly rebuke bad actors—models and photographers; 2) models lose respect for photographers who allow them to disrespect them; 3) good models are attracted to someone like me who has the courage and the audacity to sternly publicly rebuke a bad model and they do not fear me because they are part of “my tribe”, namely, they embrace my emphasis on the need to maintain professional standards, which they like, admire, value and respect; 4) my stern public rebukes of some models will deter some from continuing to be toxic and will motivate some to reform and function professionally, because they got called out publicly, they got “spanked” by me, they learned their crap will not be tolerated, and, as a result, they and others and this industry benefit by my stern public rebukes of bad actors; and 5) To summarize, it is simple: If you like something and want more of it, publicly encourage it and honor the good actors, publicly, and, if you dislike or hate something, publicly rebuke the bad actors to deter them from continuing to be bad actors.

I also believe this:

1. The great majority of photographers need to get realistic and acknowledge this: Their current approach toward dealing with bad models [make “nice” to them and appease them to remain on their good side] has been and is, a colossal failure . . . and it will never work because appeasement never works and tolerating bad behavior encourages more of it and that approach creates “monster models” because it teaches them how much crap most photographers will tolerate. Furthermore, sticking with a failed “remedy” is absurd. Thus, it is long overdue to try a different approach toward bad models.
2. “Turning the other cheek” [tolerating a model’s bad behavior] to be nice has practical limits. When you continually turn your “cheek” endlessly, you unscrew your own head, you forfeit self respect, and you enable a bad model to become worse. You end up allowing bad models to become “monster models”.
3. To the extent that a large majority of photographers [male and female] adopt my proposed remedy, they will regain their power [the ability to achieve a desired result] relative to “bad models”.
4. My proposed remedy’s key elements are: A) Privately counsel a bad model, insist she act professionally and warn her of consequences if she fails to do so; B) If she fails to reform, publicly sternly rebuke her based on the truth; C) add her name to a public list of bad models, with an explanation for why she is on that list; D) do not hire her; E) starve her of income via new shoots; F) shun her—avoid her, stay away from her; F) do not try to “fix” her. Instead, stay away, leave her alone and continue to alert others about her.
5. Get real about boundaries and do not be afraid of enforcing your own reasonable ones. Boundaries do not cost you good friends or good people. Enforcing boundaries only makes you loose greedy manipulators who want to exploit you, parasites, toxic abusers, self- centered narcissists, and energy and emotions draining vampires. Consequently, never be afraid to enforce a reasonable boundary.
6. Get real about being “nice”. If you are “nice” or a “people pleaser”, stop! Life gets better when you stop being “nice”. DO NOT BE “NICE”. You can be “a good person” without being “nice”. There is a significant qualitative difference. Appreciate that difference.
7. Get real. “Nice” gets you exploited, abused, stepped on, torn apart, mocked, maligned, and disrespected.
8. Get real. Always use the word “No” when appropriate to set and to enforce boundaries so you retain control over your own life.
9. Get real. When you stop letting people take advantage of you, that is when they label you as “crazy” or “mean” or “difficult”, and you find out a lot about people when they can’t get from you what they want. So what? Manipulators hate boundaries. Reasonable people and true friends, however, respect boundaries.
10. Get real. You are never “evil”, bad or an unreasonable difficult person merely because you stood up for yourself. Be prudent. Be proactive. Be assertive. Again, stop being “a people pleaser”.
11. Get real: Models need photographers far more than photographers “need” them! This is because the vast majority of nude models need new shoots because they need money to pay their bills, and, without money to pay their bills, they become desperate and will realize to get a photographer to pay them and rehire them they need to be professional, especially if and when photographers publicly rebuke bad models and begin to maintain a “list of ‘bad models’”.
12. To their credit, some photographers maintain and circulate a list of “MODELS LOOKING FOR WORK”, which is helpful, considerate and excellent. However, only “good models” [those with a well earned reputation for being “professional” or new models with no negative evaluations] should be on that list. This is because it is prudent for photographers to avoid helping “bad models” find new shoots. Good photographers should never help “bad models” find new work. Significantly, photographers, in addition to circulating a list of ‘MODELS LOOKING FOR WORK”, to be balanced, and to promote their own self interests, should also maintain and circulate publicly, a list of “BAD MODELS TO AVOID”, with stern, truthfully based, factual, rebukes of bad models on that list.
13. Bad models who want to survive in this industry will become frantic and desperate to get their names off of that “bad list” or, in the alternative, they will quit being models. Either way is a huge benefit for this industry and photographers who champion professionalism and want every shoot to be a fun, pleasant, productive experience.
14. Get real: No photographer has to photograph any model. People need things like water, air, food, and “security”, etc., but photographing a model is 100% optional, 100% unnecessary, and an indulgence.
15. Get real: For most nude models, their best paying work skill is posing nude, for money, and most will not pose for free even though they often claim they pose for “art”.
16. Get real: Most models pose for money, because they need money. [I have never had a model volunteer to pose merely for “art”, without monetary compensation.]
17. Get real: To the extent photographers place models, including “bad” ones, on a pedestal, and tolerate their crap [disrespect, moods, lack of punctuality, haughty diva attitudes, stealing, bad mouthing gossiping, spiteful revenge, pushiness, and making unreasonable demands, etc.] photographers end up doing these stupid things: A) They make it easier for the models to kick their teeth in; B) They ignore “red flags” [bad models’ bad behavior]; C) They enable bad models to survive and co-exist with good models and good photographers, polluting this industry with a form of poison [bad models’ crap]; C) By tolerating bad models’ crap, they enable it, they encourage it, and they end of getting more of it because, in the end, they teach bad models that the bad models have a license to continue to be toxic, rude, self- absorbed, inconsiderate, break commitments with impunity, and be dishonest, etc.; and D) To the extent photographers suffer in silence and do not publicly rebuke bad models they end up allowing bad models to enjoy a reputation, an aura, they do not deserve, which sets up other photographers to be abused over and over again by bad models until good photographers become firmly assertive, and, as a group, stop tolerating bad models’ crap.
18. Always be willing to refuse to hire a model. Heed your gut feelings. Be hyper vigilant for “red flags”.
19. Never be desperate to hire any model. There is never any legitimate compelling reason to hire any model.
20. Always be willing to walk away from a bad model, at any time: before hiring her or during a shoot.
21. You have “Free Speech” rights and “the truth is an absolute defense” to a model’s charge of defamation; so, do not be unduly cautious. Use your “Free Speech” rights and speak up: Publicly sternly rebuke a bad model, as a “Public Service Message” for the benefit of other photographers. Do other photographers a service and make it much easier for them to find out about a bad model by posting a stern public rebuke of a bad model, but, keep it factual.
22. Get real: Models’ badmouth photographers routinely and some models maintain a “secret” list of models’ commentary about photographers, and some models who are spiteful, probably invent and report false crap about a photographer to those models who maintain these “secret” lists, to “punish” a photographer who stood up to their abuse.
23. Never ever allow a model to disrespect you!!! Never.
24. Never disrespect yourself by not being assertive to protect your legitimate interests.
25. Before hiring a model for a shoot, screen the model carefully to find out if she is a good match for the shoot and if you and she will be compatible. Do that by having a frank discussion with her, with an emphasis on clear, effective, communication, to raise her to a high level of informed consent so there is never any failed expectation.
26. Do not hire a model who is not a good match or who balks, etc.
27. Develop and use a thorough, clear, comprehensive “booking shoot contract” which spells out the material terms of hire, e.g., the model’s and the photographer’s duties, nature of the shoot and compensation, etc., and get it signed.
28. Never give a model any “advanced payment”.
29. Never allow a model to get ahead of you financially.
30. Never start the shoot before the model signs your commercial rights model release. If she refuses to sign, end the shoot before it begins, walk away, and pay her nothing.
31. Always treat the model 100% professionally and honorably and always be considerate of her safety and comfort level.
32. Always keep everyone of your commitments made to the model, absent a compelling reason for failing to do so.
33. Never touch the model, especially when she is nude or partially undressed, especially without the model’s expressed, clear, prior, consent.
34. Adopt this attitude: 99.99% of the time there is never a true compelling need or justification for a male photographer to touch a female model.
35. Never give any model any attached to reality logical factually based reason to complain about you.
36. If and when a model begins to go sour and become difficult, tell her—once—you are serious: If she does not immediately stop her crap the shoot is over and she will be paid, at most, only prorated up to what she earned until she began to act unprofessionally.
37. Do not try to get a model to become a sex partner, a girlfriend, or a wife. If she wants you that way she will let you know. If she does not let you know, that is her way of telling you she is not interested.
38. Do not be afraid of scaring away good models merely because you post stern public rebukes of bad models.
39. Good models appreciate a photographer who has the courage to publicly stand up for professionalism and to publicly call out bad models.
40. Get real: Good models have nothing to fear from good photographers. Both are of the same “tribe”.
41. A public stern rebuke of a bad model sends a message to all concerned as to what you, the photographer, insist upon . . . or else.
42. Photographers, individually, are like toothpicks, meaning, it is fairly easy for a bad model [or a group of bad models] to malign a good photographer who stood up to them, and “break” one photographer [if mentally or emotionally weak], but, toothpicks are made from tree trunks, which are much harder to break, and, when photographers [toothpicks] band together and adopt this approach, against bad models, they leverage their individual and combined power against bad models.
43. Once bad models comprehend that photographers have adopted a new attitude toward them and will publicly post stern rebukes of a bad model, it will be much harder for bad models to jump from photographer to photographer after being abusive toward any of them.
44. When the so called “badass” models [smart ass bad models who, inexplicably, think their abuse of photographers is “cool”] comprehend photographers, as a group, will no longer tolerate their crap, and their income from modeling will dry up—fast—if they fail to behave professionally, they will leave the industry and the industry and those who remain behind who value professionalism will be far better off with fewer bad actors still in this industry.
45. Have well thought reasonable boundaries, communicate in advance what your boundaries are, and, enforce them, immediately; otherwise, they become “leaky” and you undermine your boundaries and ruin your credibility.
46. Furthermore, rebuke photographers who tolerate bad models because photographers who tolerate bad models [e.g., hire them despite being put on notice that the model is “bad”] give the bad model a free pass, a life line [money], and enable them to continue to be “bad”. That is the wrong message to send.
47. Bad models do not belong on the same level with good models, period.
48. Photographers need to be assertive, firm, and practice discernment and hire only good models [not just good posing skills but only honest, decent, trustworthy, models].
49. Get real: Appeasement never works and trying to appease a bad model to remain on good terms with a bad model is bat shit silly stupid folly.

My perspective, above, is the foundational motivation for why I wrote the following stern public rebuke of a model who I describe as “THE MODLE FROM HELL”.

From 2017 to 2021 I photographed model “Lily” extensively, including on four continents. I lived with her for five weeks in her Bucharest, Romania apartment. I hosted her for multiple days and nights at my home numerous times. I did multiple multiple day car trips with her in the USA. During that time frame she told me this: In her 10-12 year career as a fine art nude model I hired her more times and paid her more than any photographer. I got to know her well. I spent so much time with her her “mask” eventually came off, but, it took me awhile to figure out how toxic and despicable she is, once you really get to know her—the real person, not the false image she cultivates and promotes, publicly.

This model “targeted” me because she, via her questioning of me, learned that I had qualities that made me an easy mark for her to exploit, namely, 1) I was empathetic, 2) I had assets that she wanted; therefore, I could give her the “supply” [money, admiration, support, logistics, and help, etc.] that she craved and needed, and 3) She knew I liked her and she used all of this against me, cleverly.

I place this model here, first, because I, as of March 2024, after photographing about 130 models, deem this “Lily” to be THE MODEL FROM HELL. That is not an exaggeration.

I consider my public rebuke of this model to be, not “revenge” but a “public service message”, to warn others about her.

Would I hire this model again? NO! Emphatically “No!”

Do I recommend this model? Absolutely not! I recommend— strongly—against her.I believe this model should be shunned, not tolerated, and should be publicly rebuked and encouraged to leave the fine art nude model industry because, as explained below, she is unworthy to remain in it because she has acted not only unprofessionally but criminally, and she has refused to atone, to reform, to make amends and to admit her culpability.

Based on my personal knowledge of this model [what I saw or heard with my own eyes and ears] I would comfortably swear, under oath, in a court of law, to all of the following stark, sobering, facts and opinions that I have about her:

1. I am convinced she is an accomplished, highly skilled, manipulative, covert narcissist;
2. She tricked me into overpaying her $11,300.00, she knows she was overpaid that amount, and she refuses to reimburse me;
3. She used my AMEX card without my authorization to book a $600 plus Airbnb room in Sweden, and, when I confronted her about that, she denied it for months;
4. When I truthfully told AMEX I believed $17,000 in charges on my AMEX card were fraudulent, AMEX investigated, AMEX linked this model to being the culprit and AMEX removed those charges from my bill;
5. After I paid her almost $20,000 for posing for me in five weeks in Australia and asked her to sign my model release [the same one she had signed about 25 times], she refused on the grounds that since I had the pictures I did not need a commercial rights model release from her [which is absurd and she knew it];
6. When I told her she acted fraudulently by taking my money and by then refusing to sign my release, I would call PayPal and demand an immediate full refund if she did not immediately sign the release, she said I was threatening her. Worse: She literally “shot me in the back”, with pepper spray, as I walked away from her;
7. She is volatile and erratically throws fits. [She once ripped apart brand new, expensive, Italian made, black fishnet stocking that I bought for her to wear, screaming at me, something like, “Peter, what are you doing here in my apartment? We are not friends. If you don’t photograph me I will throw you out!” But, she invited me to spend five weeks with her in her apartment and I was photographing her at that time!;
8. She has a strong sense of “entitlement” and “superiority”;
9. She is bossy and has to be in control. [She once told me I can use only a 24-70mm lens to photograph her and only between 50-70mm because she hates how wide angle distorts her;
10. She hates to be confronted or challenged, especially with facts she knows are accurate and do not reflect well on her; doing that is guaranteed to set her off in a rage and motivate her to turn against you because her sense of superiority does not allow for any criticism of her;
11. When she unlawfully committed an assault and battery against me in Australia by pepper spraying me without good cause I did not report her to the Aussie police for these reasons: A. I did not want to get her in trouble because I wanted to continue to photograph her and B. I feared if I did report her to the police she would lie to the police and claim she pepper sprayed me because I assaulted her;
12. She lives by two arbitrary standards—one that is self serving for her and one that requires you to function as her servant, supplying her with what she wants or catering to her every whim and mood. Those double standards are arbitrary, are rigged in her favor—short term, and, ultimately, amount to her sabotaging herself, but she is incapable of self-reflection to comprehend how and why she is her own worse enemy.
13. She as two personas—her “public” one which she zealously protects at all cost and her “real” one, where she acts like a control freak tyrant, a human wrecking ball, an emotional vampire, when alone with the person who she mentally and emotionally abuses with various forms of trauma that she generates;
14. When her lips are moving she is either manipulating or lying;
15. She demands absolute loyalty but she will turn on anyone instantly to protect her public image, especially against meritorious criticism;
16. When I finally caught on to her dishonest crap and demanded she reimburse me what she owed me, I offered her these options: She could reimburse me in one payment, or she could reimburse me via reasonable payments over time or she could work it off by posing for me at her normal rate without charging me until she worked off what she stole from me.
17. She rejected every option I offered her. Instead of being reasonable with me, she threatened me, and she made good on her threats. She did this: She blocked me on social media, and she told others that the reason she pepper sprayed me in Australia was because I persistently sexually assaulted her. That claim is 100% false. [I have never sexually assaulted anyone.];
18. After she pepper sprayed me in Australia, without good cause, and before she started her smear campaign against me to try to control how others perceive me since she lost control over me and she feared I would begin to reveal the truth about her, she reached out to me to try to set up shoots with me, including her stating she welcomed me hosting her again and she was receptive to me spending the night with her in one of her hotel rooms [separate beds];
19. When she explains what happened, she always re-writes history to make herself the victim or the heroine in a problem she created, and that is a form of manipulation;
20. She never admits any culpability, and she never accepts responsibility for any problem she created; and
21. To try to get her victim to “let it go” [so she can escape being held accountable, she loves to say, “You are living in the past. Move on.”, which she will construe as her victim’s renewed permission for her to screw over her victim, again and again.

If you think I am needlessly too harsh on this “Lily”, I recommend you reconsider your position, for these reasons:

1. She never abused you. She never stole money from you. She never tricked you. She never lied to your face, repeatedly. She never used your credit card fraudulently. She never flew into a rage against you without good cause. She never started a smear campaign against you. She never defamed you by falsely telling others you sexually assaultedd her.
2. She is an unrepentant, repeat, chronic liar. She lies about her age. She has been, allegedly, 29 years old for the last 5-6 or 7 years. She lied to the US Embassy in Bucharest, Romania, as to why she wanted a USA tourist visa, and she might have lied under penalty of perjury, which would be a felony. She has been lying to US federal officials at every port of entry about her true purposes for entering the USA. She has also lied to Australian officials to get an Aussie tourist visa and why she wants to enter Australia. She lied to me when she promised to reimburse me the $11,300 she stole from me by tricking me into believing she would reimburse me. She lied when she claimed she did not know she improperly used my AMEX credit card. She lied to others when she defamed me and falsely claimed I had sexually assaulted her.
3. She also uses photo manipulation software to make herself look more sexy. I, personally, have seen her use this software to increase the size of her breasts, to make her waist smaller, to make her hips and butt larger, and to add several inches to her legs. She does this to promote her public persona, her “image”.
4. Her “image” is of extraordinary extreme utmost importance to her, and she will lie, smear, and betray anyone to protect her public image as a sweet, honorable, good, person.
5. Knowing her as I do, it is easy for me to imagine her doing a wide variety of unthinkable things [for a normal person] to protect this “image” that she has so carefully cultivated and goes to sustained prolonged lengths to maintain and to protect.
6. But, while protecting her physical image she, in my opinion, failed to maintain good character and is a morally bankrupt hypocrite of the highest order.
7. Is it credible that she really did not know what she was doing when she tricked me so she could steal $11,300 from me? No!
8. Is it credible that she really did not know what she was doing when she used my AMEX card to charge a Swedish Airbnb room on it for over $600? No!
9. Is it credible that she really did not know what she was doing when, according to AMEX’s fraud department, there is strong circumstantial evidence that she—and she alone—also charged about an additional $17,000 to my AMEX card? No!
10. $11,300 + $600 + $17,000 =s $28,900! That’s a lot of incredulous alleged good faith mistakes on her part.
11. How convenient, for her, that all of these alleged “mistakes” on her part all worked to her financial advantage, short term!
12. That $28,900 that she apparently rippled off from me and AMEX is in addition to the $19,000 + I paid her to pose for me when we were in Australia, is, for most people, a significant sum, which suggests this: There is a lot of “sticky fingers” thieving gypsy in this Romanian’s soul, consistent with her having a horrendous bad character.
13. In less than 2-3 months she hauled in, $19,000 that she earned by posing, plus—if what AMEX believes is true—another $17,000 in ill gotten gain via criminal conduct.
14. Her actions indicate she is not normally or reasonably constituted, that her core values are different from normal people who are honest and decent, that she lives by her own rules, that she is governed by a weird sense of entitlement, namely, what is mine [or yours] is hers, too, or should be, because, somehow, she is superior and therefore, “entitled”, by hook or crook, to what others legally own, and she is incapable of self-reflection.
15. Based on the evidence, a compelling argument can be made that she violated multiple parts of the Ten Commandments. Example: Thou shall not steal! Thou shall not covet! Thou shall not bear false witness!
16. She also violated two Golden Rules: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you and love thy neighbor.
17. She never apologizes because in her weird view of the world, she never does anything wrong, and, for her to apologize, would be tantamount to her acknowledging she is flawed, is not superior and is not entitled.
18. When confronted with unambiguous, objective, credible facts proving she violated basic rules of common decency, the law or Christian morality, etc., she instantly seethes with hatred and anger for the person who had the audacity to expose her toxic abusive behavior and hold her accountable, by shoving her nose into her shit, namely, problems that she created. To her, the problem is never her bad behavior, but the problem is always this: Her victim has become aware of it, has begun to complain about it, has begun to withdraw from her the “supply” she needs, and that makes her angry and worried and she strikes out against her victim, to try to regain control over, and to punish, her victim.
19. She loves to promote chaos and stir up trouble because doing so gives her a sense of her own power.
20. When she fails to control or to destroy a person she targeted for supply who stopped providing her with the supply [money, admiration, support, free stuff, help, etc.] which she craves and needs, she engages in a ruthless smear campaign, via lies, to try to destroy the person’s reputation and to try to control how others see the person she wrongly smears.
21. She blames others [never herself] for her problems and her shortcomings, of her own doing.
22. She is a huge fool, myopic, stunted in her development and infantile in her approach to life.
23. She lacks comprehension about the horrible carnage and destruction she causes.
24. She lacks empathy for anyone except herself.
25. As she plots against others she ultimately sabotages herself, driving away everyone who discovers she is a covert narcissist.
26. She is a mental and emotional vampire, a master at cunning deceit leveraging peoples’ minds and feelings against themselves, to their detriment and to her advantage.
27. She has an excuse for everything.
28. She is extremely unreasonable and snarly when she does not get her own way, and often throws what amounts to an infant’s temper tantrum, even though, chronologically, she is an adult who should be able to accept accountability for her bad behavior.
29. She preens in public to promote her public persona while she always provokes and abuses her victims in private, so there is never any witness to her toxic behavior besides her targeted victim.
30. She is a master at using a person’s empathy for her against themselves to get what she wants from them and to soothe her own wounds.
31. Simultaneously, she demands respect and trust while refusing to earn respect or trust.
32. She is a huge hypocrite. She has her head rammed so far up her ass she is clueless to these stark facts: She is her own worst enemy, she sabotages herself, she is despicable, she is ruthless, she is callous, and she is not trustworthy.
33. She is arrogant, haughty and condescending, without justification. Example: She insists she should be allowed to run the show, but, when her show flops, she goes far out of her way to avoid accountability.
34. When she says she wants to meet new “friends”, that is code for this: She wants new sources of supply, that she desperately needs.
35. Down deep, at her core, she is probably a miserable, pathetic, desperate, wretch, who lacks high self esteem, because she knows she is weak, she is a parasite, she is materialistic, and she will break society’s rules, government’s rules and common decency norms to get what she craves, with no remorse.
36. She argues to create more chaos and conflict because drama and chaos feeds her ego and makes her feel powerful, as if she is in control, and she enjoys seeing how she can have a negative impact on others.
37. For five years I was good to this model. I was kind to her. I tolerated her crap. I supplied her with admiration, support [money, transportation, logistics, advice, care]. I turned the other cheek often, far too often, until I caught onto her shit and understood she is a mental and an emotional vampire and a thief who did not deserve my kindness or my support, etc.
38. When this model realized she mistook my kindness and my tolerance of her crap as weakness on my part it was already too late for both of us. This is because for far too longed she functioned like a fool. For example: Like a dog that returns to lick its own vomit, like a fool, she kept digging the hole into which she eventually fell, and I was too slow to comprehend she was not—and is not— worthy of my trust or my kindness.

I do not have to explain this “Lily’s” bad behavior. However, there are credible, reasonable, logical explanations for why she abused me, her best paying photographer who hired her more often and paid her more than any other photographer, by her own admission to me, up to that point in her 10-12 year career as a fine art nude model.

Here is an explanation that makes excellent credible good sense to me:

1. She, as a covert narcissist, is not a normal person, not a reasonable person, does not think the same way and does not share the same basic values as a normal, mentally healthy person.
2. She, as a covert narcissist, suffers from a stunted development, e.g., even though she is, chronologically, an adult, mentally and emotionally, in many ways, she is like a young child, desperate for “supply [support in a wide variety of forms], plus, she is self absorbed, and lacks comprehension and compassion for others.
3. For some reason, she has an overblown sense of “entitlement” and “superiority”, plus, she has a need to feel “powerful” and in “control”.
4. As such, as a covert narcissist, she loves to provoke, to abuse, her targeted victim, to get a response, which is, to her, a form of entertainment that feeds her need to feel powerful and in control.
5. As a covert narcissist, it is a common tactic for them to create a distraction, to shift attention from their wrongdoing and their culpability onto the distraction she created, intentionally, for that purpose.
6. As a covert narcissist, the odds are incredibly high she lives one or more secretive “double lives”, and always has one or more new sources of “supply” lined up in case the one she relies upon the most, currently, catches on to her bullshit, figures her out, and begins to withdraw the “supply” that she desperately needs and craves.
7. She, as a covert narcissist, is a sicko, but, she knows that all of her abuse is wrong, which is why she does it in private, without any eye witness besides her targeted victim.
8. Thus, after I paid this Lily the last almost $10,000 that I owed her for posing, the third payment that added up to almost $20,000, she, money wise, no longer needed me, because I had given her enough “supply” [money] to pay her bills for a few months.
9. Plus, I was beginning to get assertive with her and she knew she was losing control over me.
10. So, to try to retain control over me, or to punish me, or to motivate me to leave her, or to do something that would provoke me to become agitated with her, she did the following: First, she refused to sign my model release on the absurd grounds that since I had the pictures I did not need a release; second, when I told her she was acting fraudulently by accepting my money to compensate her for posing but refused to signed my release, she accused me of “threatening” her when I demanded she sign the release or I would demand that PayPal make me a full refund, and, when I rejected her assertion that I was threatening her, to punish me for standing up to her and/or to provoke me to make me look like the unhinged one or to motivate me to leave her because she had an ulterior plan or another new source of “supply” lined up for her, she—without good cause—pepper sprayed me, which is form of civil and criminal “assault and battery”.

For the reasons stated, I consider this “Lily”, real name “Marinela Banica”, to be a liar, a bitch, a thief, a trouble maker, an emotional and mental vampire, a “taker” [as in “a blood sucker”], an un-convicted criminal, the devil in disguise, a mentally and emotionally, unstable, miserable, shallow, empty, despicable, human being.

In Shakespeare play, “Romeo and Juliet”, Romeo, at Act 2, Scene 2, says this line: “He jests at scars that never felt a wound.”

That line resonates with me.

For five years I treated this “Lily” [Marinela Banica] with utmost professionalism, respect, favoritism, kindness, and tolerance of her crap.

For five years I ignored red flags and misconstrued them as “pink”, resolving all doubts in her favor, to my severe detriment, long term.

Miss Banica’s smearing me by defaming me [falsely telling others I sexually assaulted her] and stealing $11,300 from me, by deceit and broken promises, inflicted deep wounds, so painful that she motivated me to write a book.

It was impossible for me to ever imagine that this model was so depraved that she would stoop to a smear campaign against me by claiming, falsely, that I sexually assaulted her.

I now have about a 350 page book titled “PONDERING THE ‘DARK SIDE’ OF THE NUDE MODEL-PHOTOGRAPHY INDUSTRY—A SURVIVAL GUIDE”.

I intend to finish this book before 2024 is over.

About 100 pages in this book is devoted to explaining “covert narcissism” and, in detail, my experiences with Miss Banica. There, I fight her lies about me with facts I know about her.

My book also has a “report card” section where I grade, and discuss, selected models. That section is broken down into these groups: Models who I highly recommend; models who I like but have limited experience with; models who “fell from grace”, meaning, I use to like them but they manifested disrespect and became toxic or fraudulent; models who I strongly recommend against; and THE MODEL FROM HELL [“Lily”], who is the only model in this category.

About ten male photographers have given me meaningful constructive commentary to improve this book in progress and several have urged me to complete it.

Sadly, even though I asked about a dozen female models to comment on the book, most have failed to respond or have strongly encouraged me to not finish it. I consider their failure to comment to be a semi-tragic wasted opportunity for them to have their input included.

One female model asked me these questions: 1. Is my real goal to promote Marinela Banica?, and 2. Since. I write often about why I do not like Miss Banica, why am I helping her by writing about her?

When I publicly declare something about a model—good or bad—I am 100% sincere.

I consider my stern public rebukes of a model to be a public service message for the benefit of other photographers, namely, a warning about the model, to try to help other photographers avoid a problem.

Since I love it when a model treats me professionally, to be balanced, I love to publicly compliment them, to help support them, so they—hopefully—thrive.

I assume some photographers have had good to excellent experiences with Miss Banica. I did, too, for awhile. However, once she decided to “target” me for exploitation, I was too slow to understand the web of deceit she weaved on which I found myself ensnared.

Bottom line: BEWARE OF MODEL MARINELA BANICA FROM BUCHAREST, ROMANIA. THERE IS A LOT OF THIEVING GYPSY IN THIS ROMANIAN. IF YOU FAIL TO SHUN HER YOU ARE WORKING WITH THE DEVIL IN DISGUISE AND YOU FUNCTION AS AN ENABLER.

I, respectfully, implore you: Do not turn a blind eye or a deaf ear to a photographer who claims that “X” is an abusive, toxic, bad model who should be shunned.

You, of course, are free to hire and pay any model you want to photograph if the model agrees to work with you. But, when you do that, you become complicit in their abuse, you undermine professional standards for the fine art nude model-photography industry, and you tolerate and encourage bad models’ bad behavior(s). ENABLING ABUSE IS A FORM OF ABUSE IN AND OF ITSELF!

If you are a photographer who likes Miss Banica, if you champion her, if you defend her, if you think she is a wonderful sweet angel, etc., and if you intend to continue to photograph her, she has you duped, liked she had me, for years. In that case, what you really are is “an enabler” of her crap. Mental health care experts who specialize in narcissism have a special name for enablers of covert narcissists: “Flying monkeys”. [Yes, I know, that term is weird, but the experts use it; I did not invent it.]

NOTE: This “Lily”s” new model stage name is “_lily_moonlight”.